It was the easiest decision I ever made. Easier than choosing a nail polish color. Like rolling off a log. A simple cry of “Uncle” and it’s done. Pour the vodka, open the amber bottle, and fill the left hand with the thirty little white pills. Open the mouth, shove them all in, and send them on their way down the gullet with the potent liquid. No thoughts. No worries. Feeling absolutely nothing.

Done, done, and done.

Although I took antidepressants religiously and repeatedly questioned my doctors as to their declining effect, psychotropic medications have taken me down an untenable path of confusion and failure—one that has driven me to examine where I went on February 25, 2009. That’s the date I downed an entire bottle of Xanax, not without the help of excessive pours of wine and vodka, and all with the hope of ending what appeared to be a perfect life… more>>

3,000 Pulses Later

A Memoir of Surviving Depression Without Medication

From the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and NIMH:

  • In 2010, over 1 million adults attempted suicide; 38,364 succeeded-an average of 105 each day.
  • 90% of suicides are directly related to depression and other mental disorders.
  • 20.9 million people suffer from Major Depressive Disorder in the U.S. today.
  • 7.4 million of those people do not take antidepressants either because they are ineffective or the side effects are intolerable.

3,000 Pulses Later describes how Martha Rhodes, a successful advertising executive, wife, and mother who in her late fifties, and despite a seemingly ideal life, succumbed to depression and overdosed on Xanax and alcohol in an unsuccessful suicide attempt. The memoir describes her challenges with untreated, drug-resistant depression and her struggle to find an alternative to the drugs that failed to relieve her symptoms.

After a grueling stay in a psychiatric ward and many months of trialand- error medications, Rhodes pursued TMS, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation-the newest, safest, and proven-effective alternative to ineffective drugs and electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).

3,000 Pulses Later shares how the road back to health with TMS returned her to an even better place than where she started. She now manages her depression with TMS therapy and without the side effects attributable to antidepressant medications.

For bulk order discounts, please contact the publisher.

The events described in this memoir are true. Some names have been replaced by pseudonyms in order to protect privacy, particularly those of medical personnel. This book is intended to reflect the life experiences of the author and in no way should it be considered to be medical advice, recommendations for treatment, or a replacement for medical care given by physicians or trained medical personnel. The author refers to and thereby endorses NeuroStar TMS Therapy® in this book because it was the only FDA-cleared transcranial magnetic therapy device available at the time of treatment and is an integral part of her story. This is by no means a promotional or advertising vehicle for NeuroStar TMS Therapy® nor does the author have any financial ties to Neuronetics, Inc.